I made it!

I'm heeeeeere.

I made it to Australia on the 27th after a 2 day hike. I left Chiang Mai, waited around for 6ish hours, then jumped the night train to Bangkok. I waited around Bangkok for 10ish hours, picked up my luggage from random hiding spots in the city, and jumped a night plane to Melbourne. After a four hour layover and a 2 hour flight, I finally landed in my final destination - Sydney suburbia.

So far I'm pretty pumped - the neighborhood is adorable, the kids are cute, and the city looks fantastic. I'm still learning how to drive on the left side of the road in the HUGE car ... we'll see how long it takes me to make a blog post out of that ;)

In the meantime, you can call me if you miss me - I got a new cell number ;)

If you dial 011 61 434084139 from the States, it should work. Maybe.

Can't wait for allllll of those calls to start rolling in!

And the adventure continues ... in Dalat. Part One. Many pictures and videos.

It’s time. The time you’ve all been waiting for. The limitless installments of Asian Invasion BBB 2009.

You see, I’m without shelter for the next 36ish hours. I was let out of the meditation center at 11am, and I have nothing to do between now and 10:30pm tomorrow except get to Bangkok for a flight. Which normally takes around 8 hours on a bus. But since I have nothing but time, I decided to take the 14 hour train ride instead.

Read: no need for a guesthouse. Monies saved.

And time for blogging.

So, back to Vietnam.

After Ho Chi Min City, we decided to head to cooler lands, in the country’s central mountain ranges. Thanks to Mikey for not letting us overlook this awesome stop on the backpackers’ trail.

Had I not been completely drunk when I got on the bus, thanks to a crazy night in HCM, I might have enjoyed the beautiful bus ride a bit more. Dalat is an agricultural powerhouse, growing everything from coffee (!!!!!) to lettuces and more boring things.

It’s like the non-Vietnam – the weather is comfortably cool and the people are really really nice. Mostly.

We got off the bus and, typically, had no idea what we wanted to do or where we wanted to stay. A cab driver dropped us off in front of some random place we picked out of the Lonely Planet guide. Immediately, the greatest woman ever greeted us with smiles and welcomed us into her guesthouse.

While she didn’t have a room for us, we did go there for most of our meals, and she always greeted us by our names.

“Good morning, Lisa. Where Adam? Still sleeping?”

"Oh, no. He's jacking off in the shower. He'll be over here in a few minutes."

Within minutes of first arriving at her place we were eating delicious food, drinking amazing Vietnamese coffee and getting pitched by a guide for a motorcycle tour. They almost had us sold into a 6 day bike ride, but we managed to get ourselves back into day tour range.

The next day we set off on the back of gorgeous “big bikes” to see Dalat in all of it’s glory. The tour was sooo pretty, with stops to see scenic pine forests, hikes up little hills for higher views and some other agricultural sites. Photos included.

Oh, and the silk farm and factory, which was really cool. Those are the worms up there.

Here’s how silk is made:

And a pretty pagoda with beautiful gardens, also seen above.

Thhhhen came the waterfall hike.

As some of you may recall, I’m not very bright. Or coordinated. Sometimes I act like I’m four and get excited and fall-down-go-boom.

The waterfall was pretty, and I wanted to put my feet in. So I crossed the little stream. Successfully, at first, which you can see in this little video.

On the way back, I got a little cocky. And I (accidentally) rode that stream like an extreme waterslide.

A lot of people in Asian countries can’t swim, so when I fell in, a really kind gentleman started freaking out and threw me a really thin stick to hold on to. He didn’t realize that I was a strong swimmer, that the stick would break, and the current wasn’t so bad. I was just in total shock as to what I had just managed to do and was screaming my ass off.

Adam wasn’t worried. He just started taking pictures.

I had really wanted to swim anyway, so I was going to stay in for a while to make it all worth it.

“Umm, Lisa. Where’s your camera?”

“UUUUMMMMM. Dammit. It’s in my pocket.”

So that was the end of that camera. I’m pretty sure my 2 year expired warranty doesn’t cover Vietnamese river damage.

My very very wet jeans were not the most comfortable wardrobe choice for the remaining few hours of the tour. The tour guide tried to take me shopping, but there was nothing available that looked even remotely comfortable. He just drove me around on the bike really fast to help me dry off quicker.

Then we saw how they make rice wine, and how they use it to keep the hogs drunk so they get fat faster. Seriously. The hogs are in a drunken stupor 24/7. At least that's more humane than locking up sober pigs? If I had to live in a cage, I would want to be drunk too.

Lastly, we saw this really nutso hotel that was built by a famous Vietnamese architect in an Alice in Wonderland – type style. The hallways were confusing and curvy, and the rooms were decked out in an on-acid theme with mirrors above all the beds. I wouldn’t really want to stay there … but it was a cool site and the pride of Dalat.

And that was our first full day in Dalat. We ended the evening in the market, where we bought too many silk paintings. And some woman was a bitch and refused to let me see her jewelry and made me mad. I just want a ring for my mommy, you whore!

Ugh, Vietnam. Sometimes you piss me off.

Backpeddalling ... some vids of my dorky self, thanks to ALC

Adam is abusive with his video function. In fact, I often pose for pictures when he's really taking a video. I'm smart like that.

Back to Angkor Wat for a moment, here's a video of me try to climb down the crazy stairs. I obviously thought he was going to take a picture.

Oh, and here's what I look like when I'm trying to relax on a Cambodian bus. Thanks for leaving me alone, asshole.

More later ... cheers!

I know, I know ...

Terrible terrible blogger, I am. So fire me.

It's been an amazing run - officially named Asian Invasion BBB 2009. It's winding down now, as I just left Bangkok behind, along with my trusty travel buddy.

The official itinerary changed quite a bit. We ended up hitting 5 countries, including Thailand, Cambodia, Vietnam, Thailand again, Malaysia, Singapore and Thailand one more time.

My passport is cooler than your passport.

For the next week I will be locking myself up in a meditation center for some reflecting and winding down before taking off on my next adventure. On the 26th I take off for Sydney ... and then the new party begins!

To those on you on the edges of your seats waiting for updates, rest assured that I have been taking careful notes on the craziness of the past month and you will be getting your fix soon. Highlights include:

- chasing down buses in southern Thailand
- near death by limestone cliff. and regular cliff
- piercings in Singapore
- other shenanigans

So stay tuned, folks. Once I have regular power and internet access again, it's ON.

Ho Chi Min, old Saigon. Lots of legitimate hate on the US and several rounds at happy hour.

Our first stop out of Cambodia was to Ho Chi Min City in Vietnam, or old Saigon. We took a bus over the border, which wasn’t too bad. I’d heard some horror stories about the bus disappearing when people got out to walk through customs, etc. We were lucky I suppose. It all went ok.

Saigon itself doesn’t have THAT much to do, save for the war museum and related sites. If you go a couple of hours outside the city you can crawl around in the tunnels used by the Vietnamese during the war, and shoot a machine gun if you like. It sounds a little gruesome to me – shooting a gun into a previous killing field site? Reliving a massacre …

No? It’s just me?

I later heard a fellow backpacker tell a story about a dude from Michigan who had gone to the tunnels to shoot guns into the fields. According to this observer, the guy took off his shirt and insisted on wearing a belt of bullets across his chest while he gleefully shot into a field of imaginary people.

The kid telling this story wasn’t from the US, and after telling this story seemed to be looking at me to stick up for the people in my country. He seemed a little shocked when I just shrugged and said, “Yup, that sounds about right.”

Due to time constraints and lack of interest, we decided to hit up the museum but skip the tunnels.

I was a little ashamed to be an American as I walked through the Vietnam War museum. Just saying. I tried not to talk too much and hope that people thought I was Autralian. I get that a lot here anyway.

To escape the afternoon heat, we got Vietnamese massages from blind massuses who didn’t speak English. Talk about a lack of communication. The only thing they were able to tell me was to take my clothes off – they felt me up, realized I was dressed and started pulling.

If I thought the Vietnamese were the toughest people in SE Asia, the massage certainly proved it. Nothing like the stretching of the Thai massage, or the pressure points of Chinese – the Vietnamese literally just beat you in rhythm until you seem to be back in the right shape. A hour of getting slapped around is basically what you’re getting here. It felt ok, but I’m not a serious fan.

The market wasn’t too friendly either – they pulled and pushed and physically trapped you in their shops. If you decided not to buy something, they yelled at you and called you a bad person. It was a loooooot of fun.

But the one thing that they had plenty of in Saigon were AVOCADO SHAKES. OMG. The world’s greatest food. A little sweet, a little buttery and totally totally delicious. The saving grace to my first encounter with Vietnam.

That night I met up with a couple of Canadian guys we had met on the bus who had joined up with a few other girls from Canada and Australia. They were nice enough to let me hang out with them, even though I’m American. No one likes us over here, guys.

We hit up a bar for happy hour, which offered buy 2 get 1 free. Three of the kids decided to share drinks, which left Daniel and me to split 3 cocktails every round instead of just 2. You can imagine how well this turned out.

I was approached by the douchiest Australian guy ever rocking a rice paddy hat, ski goggles (?!wtf!?!) and a shit load of big red welts from a cupping massage he had gotten that day. As I asked him about the massage he pulled off his sexy sexy wife beater and told me how awesome it was. “Do you feel detoxed now?” I asked. “Huh?” Yeah. Great. Glad you really appreciated your cupping experience, jackass.

After about 2 more lines of conversation, he asked, “So, are we going to have sex tonight?”

“Umm, huh? That was quick. And blunt.” I mean, he was cute, but come on …

“I’m on holiday, you know. I don’t have time to flirt.”

“Hmm. Maybe? Wait, no. No, we’re not. I think I’m going dancing with my friends now.”

And we did. Drinking, dancing, stumbling and meeting up with more Australians. I swear, it’s fate telling me that Sydney will be awesome.

I rolled in at 2am or so. I was completely wasted as I got on the 7am bus to Dalat the next morning. God bless the early rising noodle lady

Eating tarantulas and playing Jenga in a brothel

On our way out of Cambodia we stopped for one more night out with Mikey - and got our passports and visas to Vietnam. We went to a lovely little cafe for dinner, where the boys convinced me to eat tarantulas. Not one, but two.

The first wasn't so bad - taken in small bites with LOTS of sauce. The second was for a dare - I had to eat the whole thing in one bite (or as close as possible) and I would get $10 from Adam and a free drink from Rios. Which I did.

Then they added a stipulation that I couldn't have any other beverage during the entire 15 minutes it took us to pay and get to a cocktail lounge. The crunchy exoskeleton was in between my teeth for the entire time.

Mike is a shady bastard. Listen to his remarks in the background.

Bitches. Victory never tasted so sweet. Just like chicken.

After dinner and drinks, Mikey left us while we decided to continue the party. As the bars started to close, we found ourselves a little stranded in a sudden downpour. We took refuge in a little bar that looked cute ... but turned out to be a brothel. Easy misunderstanding.

We played 4 mean games of Jenga and happily took down a few cocktails each before calling it a night.

Thank you Cambodia. Next stop - Vietnam!

A nice river ride from Siam Reap to Battambong

Before heading out to Vietnam, we needed to make another pit stop in PP to pick up our passports and visas. Heading out of Siam Reap we thought it might be nice to take a scenic boat trip down the river to Battambong, Cambodia's second largest city.

The low river level made for a LONG boat ride ... 8ish hours, actually. But it was a great way to see some of the countryside and enjoy the day.

A little rickety tugboat thing took us down with a small group of travelers from all over the world.

Europeans smell bad in Asia. Just saying.

We passed through a dozen or so little villages that were mostly built on water. It was nuts! They all used little boats to get around like they were on streets - even the smallest kids were floating around.

Nearly every building was actually a float - schools, shops, houses. It looked like a lot of people lived on boats with little shacks on them. There was even a little floating market.

It was a hot, sleepy day, but I managed to take a few pics. Cheers!